I’m sitting on my delayed train staring listlessly at my reflection
Guy opposite me has the paper over his lap to hide the fact Page 3 gave him an erection
I just really want to get home so I can watch Obama win the US election
But my train is delayed by 4 minutes so now I’m gonna miss my fucking connection

Oh TFL, oh TFL
Why do you make my life so hard
Is it because I’m a student and I don’t have a piece of shit Oyster card?
Would it be such a crime
If I asked you to just make sure to make your fucking trains get here on time?
TFL, I hate you

(This got a great reception on Facebook.)